PREVIEW: Your Average Ordinary Alien
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The LOST GENRE GUILD
Biblical Speculative Fiction
| Adam Graham's short story "Your Average Ordinary Alien" can be found in Light at the Edge of Darkness along with 26 other stories of Biblical speculative fiction.
Read more about the author, Adam Graham. |
The Malnarian shrieked in horror as its body decomposed. Yornac ran towards the
human. “James, please, by all that is—“
An Earth woman about a meter and a half tall and of medium build blocked Kirk’s view
of Yornac. The spiky-haired vixen hit a button and the television screen went black.
Recognition hit Kirk. He glared up at Terry. “What are you doing, woman? I need to
find out what happened with Yornac.”
Terry rolled her eyes. “Relax, you Tivoed it. Kirk, I don’t know how to say this. So I
guess I’ll just—I’m leaving.” Tears sparkled in her eyes.
Oh no! His sustenance was being cut off. And worse, who would keep his bed warm
on cold winter nights? He stood and put his arms around her. “Baby, I’m sorry. I know
it’s been a bit of a cold spell since I got laid off.”
Terry shook him off. “It’s been four years since you were laid off and all you’ve done
is live off me. You’ve spent all your time and money at sci-fi conventions. Even if you
looked for a job, you couldn’t find one after that name change last year.”
Kirk grunted, plopping on the couch. She didn’t think he was a loser back when he
was earning $80k working for a dot com. She’d loved riding in his BMW and sitting in
the hot tub of his plush apartment. Back then, it was all “you’re so funny and smart.”
Now, after a short time out of work, she thought he was a bum. “Look, taking the
name Kirk Picard Skywalker won’t stop anyone from hiring me. Come on, something’s
changed.”
Terry paced. “It’s the church I’m going to.”
Kirk jumped up. “I knew it! Those religious fanatics have nothing better to do than
disrupt our happy home.”
Terry bit her lip. “You said you were going to marry me when you moved in.”
“I will. Just give me some more time. A former coworker in Japan e-mailed me a
prospect.”
“Your old coworkers in Japan are twenty-something losers who stay in their pajamas
all day and live in their parents’ basements.”
“Their garages!”
Terry rolled her eyes.
Kirk heaved a sigh. Didn’t she know the difference? “Look, why believe this tripe
about living in sin? All this has brought the world is suffering. When people let go of
religion and embrace rationality, mankind will reach the stars and become gods.”
Terry gave Kirk a peck on the cheek, like she might give her brother. She ran her hand
across his uniform shirt, touching the Star Fleet logo before withdrawing. “Kirk, it’s a
nice story, but it’s not true. I can’t live like this anymore. I’ve got to go.” Terry
strode toward the door.
What would he do without real human contact? Then again, she’d been the ice
princess for the past few months, thanks to the Church, but as long as she stayed, he
had a shot. “The Bible and science fiction don’t have to be contradictory. Ezekiel
saw a UFO, and do you really think Jonah was swallowed by a whale? No, classic case
of alien abduction.”
Terry turned around. “Look, I’m not even to that part of the Bible yet. Good bye.”
“But wait! You’re my Princess Leah! I’m a Klingon and you’re a female Klingon.”
Terry closed the door behind her. Kirk plopped on the couch. How was he going to
pay the rent? This must be why she’d had him re-sign the lease in his name alone last
month. She said she didn’t like being on the same lease if they weren’t married.
Eight hundred dollars in five weeks. How was he going to come up with that?
He looked up at the life-sized, autographed Luke Skywalker action figure standing by
the closet. Selling it would pay the rent. No, that would be joining the Dark Side.
Kirk cried, “I’ll never join you!”
human. “James, please, by all that is—“
An Earth woman about a meter and a half tall and of medium build blocked Kirk’s view
of Yornac. The spiky-haired vixen hit a button and the television screen went black.
Recognition hit Kirk. He glared up at Terry. “What are you doing, woman? I need to
find out what happened with Yornac.”
Terry rolled her eyes. “Relax, you Tivoed it. Kirk, I don’t know how to say this. So I
guess I’ll just—I’m leaving.” Tears sparkled in her eyes.
Oh no! His sustenance was being cut off. And worse, who would keep his bed warm
on cold winter nights? He stood and put his arms around her. “Baby, I’m sorry. I know
it’s been a bit of a cold spell since I got laid off.”
Terry shook him off. “It’s been four years since you were laid off and all you’ve done
is live off me. You’ve spent all your time and money at sci-fi conventions. Even if you
looked for a job, you couldn’t find one after that name change last year.”
Kirk grunted, plopping on the couch. She didn’t think he was a loser back when he
was earning $80k working for a dot com. She’d loved riding in his BMW and sitting in
the hot tub of his plush apartment. Back then, it was all “you’re so funny and smart.”
Now, after a short time out of work, she thought he was a bum. “Look, taking the
name Kirk Picard Skywalker won’t stop anyone from hiring me. Come on, something’s
changed.”
Terry paced. “It’s the church I’m going to.”
Kirk jumped up. “I knew it! Those religious fanatics have nothing better to do than
disrupt our happy home.”
Terry bit her lip. “You said you were going to marry me when you moved in.”
“I will. Just give me some more time. A former coworker in Japan e-mailed me a
prospect.”
“Your old coworkers in Japan are twenty-something losers who stay in their pajamas
all day and live in their parents’ basements.”
“Their garages!”
Terry rolled her eyes.
Kirk heaved a sigh. Didn’t she know the difference? “Look, why believe this tripe
about living in sin? All this has brought the world is suffering. When people let go of
religion and embrace rationality, mankind will reach the stars and become gods.”
Terry gave Kirk a peck on the cheek, like she might give her brother. She ran her hand
across his uniform shirt, touching the Star Fleet logo before withdrawing. “Kirk, it’s a
nice story, but it’s not true. I can’t live like this anymore. I’ve got to go.” Terry
strode toward the door.
What would he do without real human contact? Then again, she’d been the ice
princess for the past few months, thanks to the Church, but as long as she stayed, he
had a shot. “The Bible and science fiction don’t have to be contradictory. Ezekiel
saw a UFO, and do you really think Jonah was swallowed by a whale? No, classic case
of alien abduction.”
Terry turned around. “Look, I’m not even to that part of the Bible yet. Good bye.”
“But wait! You’re my Princess Leah! I’m a Klingon and you’re a female Klingon.”
Terry closed the door behind her. Kirk plopped on the couch. How was he going to
pay the rent? This must be why she’d had him re-sign the lease in his name alone last
month. She said she didn’t like being on the same lease if they weren’t married.
Eight hundred dollars in five weeks. How was he going to come up with that?
He looked up at the life-sized, autographed Luke Skywalker action figure standing by
the closet. Selling it would pay the rent. No, that would be joining the Dark Side.
Kirk cried, “I’ll never join you!”
The Lost Genre Guild's mission is to promote quality works of Biblical Speculative Fiction (spec-fic)
through its authors, fans; to endorse new releases that fit this criteria; and of course, to glorify Him.
through its authors, fans; to endorse new releases that fit this criteria; and of course, to glorify Him.
THE MALNARIAN GRABBED JAMES and sank its teeth into the
human’s well tanned back, blood spurting all over the purple
rocks and green sand. An energy beam zapped the Malnarian in
the back. It turned. Yornac stood in his priestly robe. “Leave
him alone in the name of peace.”
Kirk leaned forward in his chair. Enough with the talk, Yornac.
Zap that bad boy.
The Malnarian dropped the human and approached Yornac.
The priest raised his hands. “You leave me no choice. By the
power of the seven moons of Galvark, you will die.”
human’s well tanned back, blood spurting all over the purple
rocks and green sand. An energy beam zapped the Malnarian in
the back. It turned. Yornac stood in his priestly robe. “Leave
him alone in the name of peace.”
Kirk leaned forward in his chair. Enough with the talk, Yornac.
Zap that bad boy.
The Malnarian dropped the human and approached Yornac.
The priest raised his hands. “You leave me no choice. By the
power of the seven moons of Galvark, you will die.”
